Probably the only Shakespeare quote you'll ever get from me.
Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to spend the night in the same room as me or be around about me when i'm sleeping will be more than aware of the problems I have with sleep disturbance.
Over the last few years it's gotten much worse. I usually sleep on average around 14 hours of any 24 hour day. I tried to make it different but nothing seems to work. I go to bed now just whenever I feel like it and get up whenever I wake. Could be anytime day or night. If I have an appointment somewhere I will get up but otherwise it's just sleep, sleep and more sleep.
My Doctor has put me through every test known to man but it seems that it's not something physical and she puts it down to either medication or a symptom of depression or a mixture of both.
That's only the beginning of it. It's the nightmares that get to me. Every single night or day they come. Not many times now when I don't wake screaming and bathed in sweat. It's a difficult one to understand. One of those things about how the mind works I suppose. I hate falling asleep as I know that within minutes of closing my eyes it will begin.
As usual with dreams most of them are totally bizarre and don't make any sense at all. Some are pretty common visitors. The latest 'thing' from my Doctor is that it might be therapeutic to try and write them down as a way to try and understand them better. Not the full details but what memories they bring up and what way they make me feel and that sort of thing? Utter bollocks probably but I'm willing to give it a go?
Back in my mid to late teens I was never all that much a big hit with the opposite sex. The whole 'one night stand' thing never really happened for me. I never really had much confidence then (or now) and I've always been aware that I'm not the most attractive man to ever walk the Earth. There were a few but compared to every other normal human being probably not that many.
One of my dreams always involves a girl called Leigh. I won't give her surname just in the off chance that someone actually reads this. She was a lovely girl and just my type. Small and dark. Nothing ever changes with me that way. Must have been about 40 years ago I suppose. Me and Leigh actually had a few go's at it. Three I think. Met her once years after by accident on a Bus and then again when I used to call deliberately for Petrol where she worked. I liked her and have really no memories now of what happened that it didn't work out? I always considered her to be one of the ones that got away I suppose? My Dad really liked her too and said she was a 'keeper'. Suppose I was young then and had no experience or idea of how to actually be in any sort of relationship either casual or otherwise. I haven't physically seen her for years now but I do say Hello once an awhile now on Facebook which is nice. As far as I know she likes girls now. I'm frequently called a Homophobe but like a lot of things I'm accused of i'm not. I won't even pretend to understand but if 2 people are happy together then who am I to judge anyone?
For some unknown reason she is frequently in my dreams. And. no, it's not one of 'those' dreams.
The first one is always at her house. Only it's not actually her house. It takes place further up from where she lived at the turn off to Burney's Lane beside where Pamela Gordon used to live. There is apartments there now I think but in my dream it's always a bungalow. I'm waiting outside for her and she doesn't come out. Why I'm waiting there i've no idea? This waiting thing can go on for days without any purpose. It seems i really need to speak to her about something important but it never happens?
Second one is even more bizarre. I'm in the house and there is some sort of party going on. I hated that sort of thing then and hate it even more now. I always have the dog with me. I miss Clippy terribly and If I remember it right Leigh used to have a lovely Collie called Carly (I think). Lynne Millar and Sharon Williams are always there too. I'm trying to move some furniture or something too and it doesn't end well. People are drunk and getting on my nerves.
Makes you think about what actually goes on in your mind during nightmares?
Bizarre?
Answers on a postcard to the usual address as to what this one is all about?
