So there it is then. It's final. Kaput.
At the grand old age of 44 i am to be Medically retired from my employer on 29/06/08 after almost 24 years service.
I'm on the scrap heap, over the hill with one foot in the grave.
I've known for a few weeks that it was happening but I'm getting sadder and sadder as the reality begins to sink in.
A lot of us, myself included, complain about going to work. Just wait until you have no more work to go to. Then you'll know. Oh yes.
If truth be told I've been struggling with my illness for years now. Really struggling for about the last 18 months. I suppose this was inevitable. I just wish it had been a few more years down the line. Oh well.
I haven't, i suppose, achieved an awful lot in my 24 odd years. However, I'm proud of what little i did achieve. I hope i made a difference no matter how small. I'm also proud and absolutely genuine when i say that i always tried to do my best no matter where i was located. A lot may possible not agree? So, fuck them basically.
My last few months weren't all that great. Since my Dad died i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders and i suppose that was reflected in my output. My inability to sleep at night meant that my time keeping could have better? Those working flexi hours will, however, know that there does seem to be an unwritten rule that states it's OK to arrive early and leave early but not OK to do the opposite. Despite the fact that there is no difference and both are equally within the regulations. I was only ever actually 'late' about twice in all my years.
I'm not all that bitter. I could have done things a lot differently when i was younger. Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?
In later years i came to realise that it just wasn't worth the bother. You have to accept the things you cannot change and only fight battles that you have a chance of winning. Go to work, do your best, leave. It's a fine Philosophy.
So what now?
You'll have to wait for part 2 for that one.
Reading - Stephen King - Duma Key
Watching - Battlestar Gallactica (Season 4)
Playing - Pandemonium (PC)
Listening to - Client - City
Coming soon - Part 2 of this bollocks, including a lengthy rant on the utter, utter incompetence of the Social Security Agency.
My not so good experience with Online dating
and..heck...if i feel like it i might even have a Famiclone Update.