Friday, September 30, 2005

Short Woody Allen Rant

Ah Woody Allen. Remember him? Short bloke, glasses, used to be funny?
I heard a great quote from him the other day. It went something like this:-

'The last time i was inside a woman was on a day trip to the Statue of Liberty'

I've never been to the Statue of Liberty. I was in Seattle once but that is a tale for another day.
Back to Woody. I've recently become resigned to the fact that at the grand old age of 41 that i'm never going to have sex ever again. Sad but very true.

Never really had all that much before. Even in my prime. Its a great shame because the few partners i ever did have always said i was pretty good at it. Everyone has to be good at something don't they?

I just can't be bothered with all the crap that goes before the sexual act itself.

I've never seen a large breast, like in the flesh. My ex was a size 30AA. I have more chest myself than she had, God bless her.

I like sex, i like breasts. Man was seeded to this planet to reproduce themselves. Not much chance of that happening. Seems i have failed miserably to do even that.

I know what you are thinking. I could pay for it. True, but i don't know if i could with a total stranger. I've been tempted once or twice but never actually went through with it.

Myself and Winston (my constant companion these days) will just have to make do with Porn.

Hey its cheap, can be viewed in the relative comfort of your own home and sometimes, just sometimes i even imagine that Belladonna is looking straight at me!