I've been using the Internet basically since there was an Internet so I do know what I'm doing there now. I obey all the sensible rules. Don't open email attachments from strangers and all the other stuff that just makes common sense.
Facebook is the only Social Media site that I'm a member of and I do enjoy using it most of the time. Unlike many others I'm not one of those users who stupidly accept every 'friend' request I receive and like everyone else I get a few every day. If it's not someone I personally know, a family member, a friend of a friend or at the very least someone I've had some sort of contact with I ignore and delete straight away. There are lunatics out there and they are best avoided.
Anyway, a few days I received a message from one of my Polish acquaintances on Facebook Messenger. Someone I've chatted to in the past and an all round genuine guy. His account had obviously been hacked in some way.
There was no attachment or dubious link or anything like that. To my horror what the message contained was a compendium of pictures of child sexual abuse. I deleted it immediately as soon as it registered with me what it was. It was appalling. Probably the vilest thing I've ever had the misfortune to see.
Now I'm not an angel and don't pretend to be. I watch 'normal' porn like probably a fair percentage of the adult human race. Not all the time but once in awhile. I'm not apologising for that or making an excuse for it. It's pretty normal I'd imagine. But this was something else. I've never come across anything like what was in those pictures ever before and hope to never do again.
The problem now is that I can't 'unsee' it and it's effected me terribly. I can't get it out of mind at all no matter how hard it try. I keep thinking about those poor kids forced to commit those terrible acts. Surely they must have parents? What makes a parent agree to subject their children to that sort of thing. It must effect them the rest of their lives. In nothing but negative ways. What are the adults that take part thinking about? Have they no guilt? They must be aware of what they doing and how totally wrong it is?
I'm trying really hard but no matter what I do those imagines are now in my mind and are there forever. I'm also worried that they are now hiding somewhere on my PC? You hear about that sort of thing happening.
I've been trying to find a Charity or somewhere that deals with this to at least have a chat with someone about the trauma I feel. Because it's real.
So far no luck with that but I had to write about it just to get something out there.
It's a Godless, horrendous world we live in it really is.
