And so it ends.......(Part 1)

So there it is then. It's final. Kaput.

At the grand old age of 44 i am to be Medically retired from my employer on 29/06/08 after almost 24 years service.

I'm on the scrap heap, over the hill with one foot in the grave.

I've known for a few weeks that it was happening but I'm getting sadder and sadder as the reality begins to sink in.

A lot of us, myself included, complain about going to work. Just wait until you have no more work to go to. Then you'll know. Oh yes.

If truth be told I've been struggling with my illness for years now. Really struggling for about the last 18 months. I suppose this was inevitable. I just wish it had been a few more years down the line. Oh well.

I haven't, i suppose, achieved an awful lot in my 24 odd years. However, I'm proud of what little i did achieve. I hope i made a difference no matter how small. I'm also proud and absolutely genuine when i say that i always tried to do my best no matter where i was located. A lot may possible not agree? So, fuck them basically.

My last few months weren't all that great. Since my Dad died i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders and i suppose that was reflected in my output. My inability to sleep at night meant that my time keeping could have better? Those working flexi hours will, however, know that there does seem to be an unwritten rule that states it's OK to arrive early and leave early but not OK to do the opposite. Despite the fact that there is no difference and both are equally within the regulations. I was only ever actually 'late' about twice in all my years.

I'm not all that bitter. I could have done things a lot differently when i was younger. Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?

In later years i came to realise that it just wasn't worth the bother. You have to accept the things you cannot change and only fight battles that you have a chance of winning. Go to work, do your best, leave. It's a fine Philosophy.

So what now?

You'll have to wait for part 2 for that one.

Currently:-

Reading - Stephen King - Duma Key

Watching - Battlestar Gallactica (Season 4)

Playing - Pandemonium (PC)

Listening to - Client - City

Coming soon - Part 2 of this bollocks, including a lengthy rant on the utter, utter incompetence of the Social Security Agency.

My not so good experience with Online dating

and..heck...if i feel like it i might even have a Famiclone Update.

And so it begins........

It was only a matter of time. It's amazing that the USA are now talking about protecting Democracy. Hypocrisy beyond belief!

Famiclone Update # 3

So, when is a Famiclone not a Famiclone?

When it's this thing for a start. A rarity indeed this is the Jamiko PC Boy, a clone of the Japanese PC Engine. Originally made by NEC and given a US release as the Turbo-Grafx 16.

Not only is it a PC Engine clone but a clone of the PC Engine Shuttle which itself had a very limited lifespan in it's native Japan.

It's very well made with 1 controller and strangely a 10v power adaptor as opposed to the usual 9v. It is PAL though.

I presume it's plays Japanese PC Engine games (Hu Cards) but i haven't actually been able to test as i don't have any Japanese games. Tons for the TG16 but zilch for the Japanese version.

Nice box with some excellent Engrish e.g. 'Never before has a fantasy of one been so magic', 'An encore performance bring magic home'. WTF!

It's made in China and cost a very reasonable £19.99, considering that it's brand new, from a very unpleasant eBay seller.

Click on the picture for a closer look at this great machine.

Famiclone Update # 2

The latest in my never ending quest for bizarre Gaming Consoles is this one.

It's the TV Joystick 36 in 1.Made in China (surprise, surprise) by Timetop, the same company behind the Gameking series of handhelds. It's shaped like a XBOX controller.

I've discovered that these are being sold in the UK by Maplin at the princely sum of £4.95. This one cost me 99p from eBay.

It's housed in a sealed plastic container and comes with an Engrish manual and the usual TV connecting leads. Powered by 4 AA batteries.

As usual with this sort of thing it doesn't contain 36 games. There are a total of 12 games included.

Note to maker - different levels of the same game are NOT different games.

It also claims to be 16 bit, but graphics to me look to be on the 8 bit side. Around Master System standard.

On the whole the quality isn't all that bad.

The games are:-

First Blood - Vertical 3rd Person shooter.

Stoneage - 2D platform game with really bad collision detection.

Bombs Away - Bomberman clone.

Gun Force - Contra clone.

Yo Yo Rabbit - Very poor 2D Platform game.

Sharp Knight - Wonderboy clone.

Firebolt - A 194X clone that's is unplayable as it runs way to fast.

Risker - Yet another Poor 2d Platform game.

Army Strike - Looks like a light gun game which is difficult when you don't have a light gun connection.

Adventure - Poor Maze type game.

Ice & Fire Fighter - 2D Platform Game.

Frantic Raindrop - Super Putty clone.

There is no cart slot.

Overall it's fairly well made and sturdy. One nice point is the inclusion of X and Y buttons which serve no purpose in any of the games.

Another slight irritant is the lack of a Menu screen, which is probably deliberate to make you think that there are 36 games included. The actual Menu is a very blurry screen shot of each game level.

Words speak larger than words?

There was a great letter a few nights ago in the Belfast Telegraph. So good, in fact, that i'm going to spend the next 10 minutes typing it out verbatum. It was signed P Mann, Co Antrim and goes something like this :-

'An American friend of mine was recently in Northern Ireland and requested that i take him to Parliament Buildings.
While gazing at the building's splendor, the conversation turned to conflict transformation and how former terrorists have integrated into a post-conflict society. I pointed at Stormont and said 'there are a few in there you could ask'. Puzzled, he nervously laughed and asked that i explained my blaze remark.
I informed him that our Deputy First Minister was a former IRA commander, one of the Junior Ministers was a convicted IRA bomber and prison escapee, two female MLA's were convicted bombers, and a further MLA was an IRA hunger striker.
He laughed again telling me in his unique Texan accent: 'Many people laugh at us Yanks, but thats like us voting for Al Qaeda after 9-11'. He is right.
In an interesting twist my friend then tripped on a loose paving stone. Embarrassingly, i told him that the Minister responsible for roads was imprisoned for IRA membership and posssession of explosives'

Excellent. I couldn't have put it better myself.

S.O.S.

Today the world should hang it's collective heads in shame. The Serbian province of Kosovo has illegally declared it's independence with support from the USA and most of Europe.

There's nothing more to be said really. A state founded on terrorism, administered by terrorists and supported by those who have the audacity to claim that they are fighting a 'global war on terror'.

The decision now gives license to all other 'tin pot' regions the authority and blessing to violently rebel against the legal representatives of the state.

Terrorism works. This is the reward.

Kosovo IS Serbia.

Journeyman....no more.

It was with more than a tinge of sadness that i tuned in to Sky One last night for the last ever episode of Journeyman. Like a lot of things worth watching it has been cancelled after just 13 episodes.

What a fickle lot the American public are.

It is a good, intelligent show and if you haven't caught it yet i suggest you do. It's like a cross between 'The Butterfly Effect' and the better episodes of 'Quantum Leap'.

Another one consigned to the dustbin as we hear that a new series of Ugly Betty is in production (God help us all).

Gone but not forgotten.

Famiclone Update # 1

Apart from watching Crusaders and listening to too much Carter USM, another sad thing in my life is my ever growing Famiclone collection.

For those not in the know, the Famiclone is a generic term which is used by collectors to refer to 'clones' of Video games Consoles which have been made, usually illegally, using another companies hardware.

The term originates from the original Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), or Famicom as it was called in it's native Japan. Hence 'Famiclone'. Nowadays it used to mean 'any' clone as opposed to one which just uses Nintendo's property.

At lot are made in the Far East, South America or Russia. There are literally thousands of different variations. Some are cheap rubbish, others are superb 'oddities' and a collectors dream.

Currently i have about 40 different consoles and i intend at some point to catalogue them all.

My latest addition is this one.

Cunningly called 'Game Challenger IV'. I shudder to think what parts 1-3 looked like.

As you can see, it is in fact a Popstation. This is basicaly one of those appaling block LCD games (with about 60 variations of Tetris included) based in a shell that is designed to look like a PSP.

It's made of cheap fragile plastic. Surprisingly, this one also has a back light.

Popstations are really common and can be picked up easily for 99p on eBay.

This one is a little bit different.

It's housed in a quite attractive lined box which also includes a set of headphones, a watch, a wrist strap and a fake leather key fob/wallet. I haven't tried the watch, but it's also cheap looking.

It's marked as A B & Co. According to the internet the only A B & Co i can find is a company which makes and repairs boiler equipment.

I can only assume that this one has been made as a promotional item for that company and distributed at a conference or convention.

I've never come across one before and it was an excellent buy at £1.24.

Short Book Review.

My latest finished tome is this one:-

Land of the Giants - The Trap by Murray Leinster

It's based on the pilot episode of Irwin Allen's TV show of the same name. I've been a big fan of 'Giants' since i was young and am a member of the Official fan club. Picked this one up a while ago in a local Charity shop.

It's shit.

It really is.

It's clear that the writer was either given a very early script of the pilot episode or that he has never watched an episode of the series, ever. The plot is nothing like the aired episode and the characters bear little resemblance to the ones i came to know and love from the series.

It's also a very boring book. The writer uses page after page of irrelevant technobabble which has no bearing on the plot whatsoever.

Not recommended at all.

Home is where the heart is.

This is my home. My Country. My nation.

It's called Northern Ireland. I'm proud of it.

I am sick, sore and tired of it being referred to as the North of Ireland, the Six Counties, the Occupied Six Counties or any of the other names some presume to call it.

It's NORTHERN IRELAND. No ifs, no buts or anything else. End of!

What's another year?

It's approaching 2008 now and as yet another year goes by without a snog; i thought i'd celebrate the Hogmany with some inspiring words from the lyrical genius that is James Robert Morrison:-

'Suicide isn't painless

it hurts like hell.

It's set aside for the famous

a little suicide sells.

Nothing lasts forever

but nothing ever did.

It's big but it's not clever

and it's really not that big.

So no more tears

you're a big boy now.

We'll have a few more beers

and sort it out somehow'.

Thanks Jim (and enjoy the tea).

Merry Fuckingchristmas!

Couldn't let the season of Goodwill to All Men go by without a brief comment here from Junkmale world. It's a quote from the excellent Weddings Parties Anything album 'They Were Better Live'.

'Just about sick of this Christmas Farce,
happiest time of the year, My Arse'

Sums it all up perfectly, i think.

Change the Record.

I watched one of those reality Police shows on the telly last night. Can't remember what it was called but part of the show followed some London traffic Police who were using newish technology to catch people who were driving without insurance. The device scanned the vehicles number plate and was able to tell almost instantly whether or not the car was properly insured. Driving this way is not as 'trivial' as most would imagine. Just wait until you have a No Fault accident with an uninsured driver!

Anyway, one particular upstart of a woman was stopped without the appropriate insurance. The poor Police Constable that had to deal with this woman had to suffer a torrent of verbal abuse. The woman's excuse was.....'You only stopped me because i am black'.

Good God but it pissed me off. I am so fed up with that attitude.

Others include 'Its because I'm white, a woman/man, Roman Catholic/Protestant, Gay/Straight, Tall/Small, Fat/Thin, Disabled etc etc. The list is almost endless.

How i wish these sort of people who use irrational excuses would, for once, take the chips of their collective shoulders. Or 'wake up and smell the coffee' as our American cousins might say.

The woman in question had no insurance? The colour of her skin was as irrelevant just as much to the Police as it is to you and me.

In other news, I'm saddened to see that ex Northern Ireland manager Lawrie Sanchez (see picture) has been sacked as manager of Fulham. I don't follow the English game much but it seems a harsh decision. OK, results were not good but they could at least have given the man until the new year to try and improve. One or two wins over the busy Christmas and New Year period would have changed everything. It's a cutthroat world is football management. I would have loved to see Sanchez succeed. He will always be a legend in Northern Ireland for what he achieved here.

I bet Nigel Worthington wishes he had signed the contract now?

You, me and the BNP.

Numerous times in the past I've been asked if i support the BNP.
No i don't. Or the really honest answer is No I can't? To date the BNP have never (as far as i am aware) fielded a candidate in Northern Ireland. Therefore, even if i wanted to support them i couldn't physically do so.
Would i vote for them if they did (as they often promise) field some candidates? I'd certainly think about it. I will 'cross that bridge' as the old saying goes.
Sometimes though i have a quick look at the BNP website. Sometimes it's bollocks sometimes it's spot on.

http://www.bnp.org.uk/?p=69

I was going to post a comment on what's happening in Serbia but the writer here says it all really.
It's a disgraceful situation where yet again terrorism seems to have won.
Serbia is a beautiful country with a proud and distinct history. It MUST have our support now in it's time of need.
Kosovo IS Serbia.
The US backed UN must withdraw now and leave this internal dispute in the lawful hands of the Serbian Authorities.

A quick example of whats really going on in the Kosovan region.

http://www.srbija.sr.gov.yu/vesti/vest.php?id=41620

In the News Today.

Two news items had me foaming at the mouth today.

Firstly this one:-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7133858.stm

It appears that the chuckle brothers are having a jolly good time in the 'home of Democracy and freedom' this week. Doesn't it just make your heart burst with pride.
It really is beyond contempt what Paisley has done.
Surprised though that Hilary Clinton has stated that there is now an 'open door' at the Whitehouse for these 2 pathetic excuses for men.
Strange, Hilary but i thought there was already an 'open door' in the Whitehouse for the IRA?
When was St.Patricks Day again?
Dontcha just love the Global War on Terror.

Secondly was this one:-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/boxing/7133862.stm

Seems that Racism is rife in the world of Boxing?
Bernard Hopkins has 'taunted' our own (or Italy's) Joe Calzaghe, calling him 'white boy' and boasting that he will never be beaten by a white man.
Now just picture for a second the world's reaction had Joe called Hopkins 'black boy' or in fact made any mention of his skin colour at all.
Good God, WW3 would have been declared, Joe would, naturally, have been branded a BNP thug and Gordon Brown would have straight onto Bush with an apology.
It's the other way around though and the worlds reaction....silence.
Bernard Hopkins is racist scum and i hope I'm not the last to say it.

Batman in the Launderette?

I remember a great song by a band called The Shapes called, strangely enough, Batman in the Launderette.

They were a sort of late 70's comedy Punk band. It was great.

I didn't meet Batman today but i did have a very pleasant chat with local Alliance Party MLA, David Ford in the butchers shop.

Good God the man can talk. All i did was say 'Hello David'. Had me there for about 20 minutes.

I did however get the chance to ask him about fellow assembly member and convicted terrorist Catriona Ruane and her announcement today to scrap the 11+ selection examination for 11 year olds in Northern Ireland.

He was none to impressed. He did say that whilst he agreed in principal with her proposals that he had asked her a question 3 times and that she had refused to give a straight answer? Not like a politician then? And Ms Ruane can't be described as a politician at the best of times.

The rest of the conversation was only about the weather and stuff.

I don't vote Alliance. As an Anti-Agreement Unionist i don't actually vote at all anymore simply because I've got no one to vote for?

I do respect, however what the Alliance Party have tried to achieve throughout the years.

Unfortunately for them, sitting on the fence doesn't pull much weight in Northern Ireland.

IRA supporters will vote for the IRA. Unionists will vote for one of the Unionist Parties simply to try and keep the 'other' side out.

The more things change the more things stay the same.

Sticks and Stones....?

Here in Northern Ireland we have a particular strong vocabulary for using derogatory terms to describe the 'other' religion.
You have the usual Fenian, Taig, Orange Bastard etc. All equally repulsive and most factually untrue. e.g. The Fenian movement disbanded many years ago, i believe and contrary to popular belief a good percentage of Protestants are not members of the Orange Institution. Most probably know their fathers as well i would presume?
I live in a very sectarian corner of this green and unpleasant land and lately I've been puzzled by some of the graffiti which appears on a regular basis on my gable wall.
Firstly there was A.H.A.T. It didn't offend me because i didn't have a clue what it meant.
A friend of mine has since informed that it means 'All Huns Are Targets'?
Apparently Hun is now a derogatory term used to mean Protestants? Yes, I'm confused too.
Back in the day, when i were a lad, Hun was a term used in comics and films starring Clark Gable, to means Germans during the 2ND World War? What connection this has to Protestants remains unknown.
Another even more confusing one was 'Black Bastards'. This, i again wrongly assumed was some sort of racial remark against our coloured cousins? Apparently not. I'm reliably informed that 'Black' is another term meaning Protestant?
I'm really confused now.
I've no objection to be verbally abused (well i have but you know what i mean), but can it be considered offensive when the recipient doesn't understand it?
As usual, answers on a postcard...

My latest passion.

This is Kelly Clarkson.

She is a babe. And she Rocks.

A perfect combination.

Hallowfuckingween

It's Halloween...in case you haven't noticed.
Two things spring to mind.
Firstly, i just watched one of the worst films I've ever seen. Not up there with the likes of Q, the Winged Serpent in the truly appalling stage but pretty bad nonetheless.
Halloween:Resurrection. The 7Th or 8Th i think in the once quite good series. It really was awful. And worse than that Katee Sackoff from The New Battlestar Galactica was in it. I'm sure she doesn't include that one in her resume.

Secondly, fireworks. Fireworks (apart from the indoor variety) are banned and illegal in Northern Ireland. Why then is it that from about the end of August all you can hear are dozens of the bloody things going off? Drives my dog insane (and the less said about the Hamsters the better).
Tonight it's worse than ever. Now don't get me wrong, if people wish to let off fireworks that is up to them. It's just that why...oh why....do they have to do so at 4am in the morning!
Surely, there's a time and a place.

Bad DUP/Good DUP?

On an exciting day for local politics it's hat's off to Margaret Ritchie. As the Minister responsible she has lived up to her promise and withdrawn funding from a project that is 'linked' to the UDA.
Couldn't agree more. The UDA have made no effort whatsoever to distance themselves from terrorism or crimininality. They deserve exactly what they got...nothing. Keep up the good work Margaret....and i never thought i'd ever be saying that about a SDLP Minister.

On a similar note it's shame on the DUP Deputy Leader Peter Robinson to objecting. He did manage to quote some legal techobabble but as the old saying goes ' a blind man could see through him'. It was pathetic and embarrasing Peter. Unionism has to fully distance themselves from any kind of so called Loyalist Paramilitaries. Today, Peter, you played right into the hands of your enemies.

More hat's off, however, to another DUP Minister Edwin Poots for scrapping the nonsense that was the Irish Language Act. I didn't for a minute think that he would have the courage to do it, but he did. This act is laughable. English is the first language of Northern Ireland. If individuals wish to learn or speak Irish that is entirely up to them. Just like French, Spanish, Hungarian or any other foreign language. Funds that could (and now will be) used elsewhere are far more important than this nonsense.

So it's 5 points for Margaret and Edwin and a big fat 0 for Peter.
Could it all be falling apart at the seams? Watch this space.