Here in Northern Ireland we have a particular strong vocabulary for using derogatory terms to describe the 'other' religion.
You have the usual Fenian, Taig, Orange Bastard etc. All equally repulsive and most factually untrue. e.g. The Fenian movement disbanded many years ago, i believe and contrary to popular belief a good percentage of Protestants are not members of the Orange Institution. Most probably know their fathers as well i would presume?
I live in a very sectarian corner of this green and unpleasant land and lately I've been puzzled by some of the graffiti which appears on a regular basis on my gable wall.
Firstly there was A.H.A.T. It didn't offend me because i didn't have a clue what it meant.
A friend of mine has since informed that it means 'All Huns Are Targets'?
Apparently Hun is now a derogatory term used to mean Protestants? Yes, I'm confused too.
Back in the day, when i were a lad, Hun was a term used in comics and films starring Clark Gable, to means Germans during the 2ND World War? What connection this has to Protestants remains unknown.
Another even more confusing one was 'Black Bastards'. This, i again wrongly assumed was some sort of racial remark against our coloured cousins? Apparently not. I'm reliably informed that 'Black' is another term meaning Protestant?
I'm really confused now.
I've no objection to be verbally abused (well i have but you know what i mean), but can it be considered offensive when the recipient doesn't understand it?
As usual, answers on a postcard...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Hallowfuckingween
It's Halloween...in case you haven't noticed.
Two things spring to mind.
Firstly, i just watched one of the worst films I've ever seen. Not up there with the likes of Q, the Winged Serpent in the truly appalling stage but pretty bad nonetheless.
Halloween:Resurrection. The 7Th or 8Th i think in the once quite good series. It really was awful. And worse than that Katee Sackoff from The New Battlestar Galactica was in it. I'm sure she doesn't include that one in her resume.
Secondly, fireworks. Fireworks (apart from the indoor variety) are banned and illegal in Northern Ireland. Why then is it that from about the end of August all you can hear are dozens of the bloody things going off? Drives my dog insane (and the less said about the Hamsters the better).
Tonight it's worse than ever. Now don't get me wrong, if people wish to let off fireworks that is up to them. It's just that why...oh why....do they have to do so at 4am in the morning!
Surely, there's a time and a place.
Two things spring to mind.
Firstly, i just watched one of the worst films I've ever seen. Not up there with the likes of Q, the Winged Serpent in the truly appalling stage but pretty bad nonetheless.
Halloween:Resurrection. The 7Th or 8Th i think in the once quite good series. It really was awful. And worse than that Katee Sackoff from The New Battlestar Galactica was in it. I'm sure she doesn't include that one in her resume.
Secondly, fireworks. Fireworks (apart from the indoor variety) are banned and illegal in Northern Ireland. Why then is it that from about the end of August all you can hear are dozens of the bloody things going off? Drives my dog insane (and the less said about the Hamsters the better).
Tonight it's worse than ever. Now don't get me wrong, if people wish to let off fireworks that is up to them. It's just that why...oh why....do they have to do so at 4am in the morning!
Surely, there's a time and a place.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Bad DUP/Good DUP?
On an exciting day for local politics it's hat's off to Margaret Ritchie. As the Minister responsible she has lived up to her promise and withdrawn funding from a project that is 'linked' to the UDA.
Couldn't agree more. The UDA have made no effort whatsoever to distance themselves from terrorism or crimininality. They deserve exactly what they got...nothing. Keep up the good work Margaret....and i never thought i'd ever be saying that about a SDLP Minister.
On a similar note it's shame on the DUP Deputy Leader Peter Robinson to objecting. He did manage to quote some legal techobabble but as the old saying goes ' a blind man could see through him'. It was pathetic and embarrasing Peter. Unionism has to fully distance themselves from any kind of so called Loyalist Paramilitaries. Today, Peter, you played right into the hands of your enemies.
More hat's off, however, to another DUP Minister Edwin Poots for scrapping the nonsense that was the Irish Language Act. I didn't for a minute think that he would have the courage to do it, but he did. This act is laughable. English is the first language of Northern Ireland. If individuals wish to learn or speak Irish that is entirely up to them. Just like French, Spanish, Hungarian or any other foreign language. Funds that could (and now will be) used elsewhere are far more important than this nonsense.
So it's 5 points for Margaret and Edwin and a big fat 0 for Peter.
Could it all be falling apart at the seams? Watch this space.
Couldn't agree more. The UDA have made no effort whatsoever to distance themselves from terrorism or crimininality. They deserve exactly what they got...nothing. Keep up the good work Margaret....and i never thought i'd ever be saying that about a SDLP Minister.
On a similar note it's shame on the DUP Deputy Leader Peter Robinson to objecting. He did manage to quote some legal techobabble but as the old saying goes ' a blind man could see through him'. It was pathetic and embarrasing Peter. Unionism has to fully distance themselves from any kind of so called Loyalist Paramilitaries. Today, Peter, you played right into the hands of your enemies.
More hat's off, however, to another DUP Minister Edwin Poots for scrapping the nonsense that was the Irish Language Act. I didn't for a minute think that he would have the courage to do it, but he did. This act is laughable. English is the first language of Northern Ireland. If individuals wish to learn or speak Irish that is entirely up to them. Just like French, Spanish, Hungarian or any other foreign language. Funds that could (and now will be) used elsewhere are far more important than this nonsense.
So it's 5 points for Margaret and Edwin and a big fat 0 for Peter.
Could it all be falling apart at the seams? Watch this space.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Discrimination gets me down!
Nice to see that the lovely COE Alistair Darling has upped the threshold for Inheritance Tax.
With property prices rising beyond all expectations its only right that this unfair tax should be raised as a consequence.
As ever, there are conditions.
The threshold has only be raised for couples.
As ever, single people (who live alone) miss out yet again.
The tax system already discriminates against single people and this only increases the burden.
Council Tax for example is based on the value of the property and not on how many people actually live in the property. Thus, a single person pays the same amount as a household with 4 or 5 persons (of which 2 or more could in theory be in full time employment).
The proposed water tax is going to be exactly the same.
It really is about time some political party highlighted this issue, or am i the only one who feels cheated in this way?
With property prices rising beyond all expectations its only right that this unfair tax should be raised as a consequence.
As ever, there are conditions.
The threshold has only be raised for couples.
As ever, single people (who live alone) miss out yet again.
The tax system already discriminates against single people and this only increases the burden.
Council Tax for example is based on the value of the property and not on how many people actually live in the property. Thus, a single person pays the same amount as a household with 4 or 5 persons (of which 2 or more could in theory be in full time employment).
The proposed water tax is going to be exactly the same.
It really is about time some political party highlighted this issue, or am i the only one who feels cheated in this way?
Monday, October 08, 2007
Classic lyrics of our time part 1046!
'I am human and i need to be loved, just like everybody else does'
SPM
SPM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Big Issue....anyone?
Bought the Big Issue today.
I usually buy it on a fairly irregular basis. Not as some charity thing for Romania's homeless but mainly because its a fairly decent read. Passes the time on the way home bus.
However (isn't there always a however), it now seems that Belfast's streets no longer have the proper magazine but instead have 'Ireland's' Big Issue? Lots of not interesting articles about Cork and Wexford though.
It's yet another sign of the ongoing Paddyfication of Northern Ireland and Belfast in particular.
I would like to find out what the marketing genius behind selling a foreign magazine in this part of the United Kingdom was thinking when he made this decision.
I usually buy it on a fairly irregular basis. Not as some charity thing for Romania's homeless but mainly because its a fairly decent read. Passes the time on the way home bus.
However (isn't there always a however), it now seems that Belfast's streets no longer have the proper magazine but instead have 'Ireland's' Big Issue? Lots of not interesting articles about Cork and Wexford though.
It's yet another sign of the ongoing Paddyfication of Northern Ireland and Belfast in particular.
I would like to find out what the marketing genius behind selling a foreign magazine in this part of the United Kingdom was thinking when he made this decision.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Classic quotes of our time part 94.
'Life sucks and then you die and then it sucks some more'
Georgia Lass
Dead Like Me
Georgia Lass
Dead Like Me
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Enlightened Iran
Poor old Iran has been getting a lot of bad press recently.
What with the alleged Nuclear arsenal they have and their lunatic leader saying some very dangerous things about Israel and what not.
However, i was just reading in one of the 'quality' papers that Mobile Phones are banned in Iran. Use in public is a flogging offence.
What absolute joy!
Its almost as good a law as Oliver Cromwell banning dancing.
Now i could write a book about the things that piss me off about Mobiles, but, i swear if i hear 'hello...hello....i'm on the bus' one more time I'm going to go insane.
The Mobile is without doubt the biggest blights in any modern society. Great for what its designed for i.e. in an emergency, but God help us all, people just can't take their eyes off the f**king things for more than 5 milliseconds!
Viva Iran!
What with the alleged Nuclear arsenal they have and their lunatic leader saying some very dangerous things about Israel and what not.
However, i was just reading in one of the 'quality' papers that Mobile Phones are banned in Iran. Use in public is a flogging offence.
What absolute joy!
Its almost as good a law as Oliver Cromwell banning dancing.
Now i could write a book about the things that piss me off about Mobiles, but, i swear if i hear 'hello...hello....i'm on the bus' one more time I'm going to go insane.
The Mobile is without doubt the biggest blights in any modern society. Great for what its designed for i.e. in an emergency, but God help us all, people just can't take their eyes off the f**king things for more than 5 milliseconds!
Viva Iran!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Classic Lyrics of our Time (Part 93)
'The shit we talk at disco's, the world over sounds the same'
Mick Thomas
Weddings Parties Anything
1993
Mick Thomas
Weddings Parties Anything
1993
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The Kindness of Strangers
My Dad died.
It's a strange feeling. The last few weeks have been a bit of a haze. Like a bad dream where you think you'll wake up and everything will be OK?
Only it isn't. It's real.
It's like it's happening to somebody else and you're just looking on?
It's where i go from here that's the problem.
It's incredible how much you take for granted until it's gone.
I suppose at the end of the day the old duffer was 78 but God, i wish he'd gotten to 79. Or 89.
One good thing, if you can call it a good thing, is the kindness of strangers. Work colleagues, friends have all been great. Couldn't have asked for more.
Now it's just me and my Mum. Who's not good. No, not good at all.
As Jim-Bob once said, and my Dad liked a bit of Jim-Bob (believe it or not).
Don't get Sick
Don't get Old
Don't be poor
Do what you're told.
Its a fine philosophy.
It's a strange feeling. The last few weeks have been a bit of a haze. Like a bad dream where you think you'll wake up and everything will be OK?
Only it isn't. It's real.
It's like it's happening to somebody else and you're just looking on?
It's where i go from here that's the problem.
It's incredible how much you take for granted until it's gone.
I suppose at the end of the day the old duffer was 78 but God, i wish he'd gotten to 79. Or 89.
One good thing, if you can call it a good thing, is the kindness of strangers. Work colleagues, friends have all been great. Couldn't have asked for more.
Now it's just me and my Mum. Who's not good. No, not good at all.
As Jim-Bob once said, and my Dad liked a bit of Jim-Bob (believe it or not).
Don't get Sick
Don't get Old
Don't be poor
Do what you're told.
Its a fine philosophy.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
In the end there can be only one.
As i slowly recover from my Ganglion removal surgery some bad news has blighted the usual uneventful life of Junkmale.
Bill Panzer has died after a short illness.
For those not in the know Bill Panzer was the co-creator of the Highlander series of Movies and TV spin offs.
Highlander: The Series remains one of my favourite TV shows. Its always been puzzling to me why it never had a higher profile or the success that it deserved. Except in France where they love it apparently? Anyone who has yet to discover it; the DVD box sets are always reasonable on eBay. With the 5th movie heading to cinemas later this year and Peter Wingfield now 'starring' in Holby City, hopefully now the franchise will be renewed and continue without its guiding light.
Rest in Peace Bill.
Bill Panzer has died after a short illness.
For those not in the know Bill Panzer was the co-creator of the Highlander series of Movies and TV spin offs.
Highlander: The Series remains one of my favourite TV shows. Its always been puzzling to me why it never had a higher profile or the success that it deserved. Except in France where they love it apparently? Anyone who has yet to discover it; the DVD box sets are always reasonable on eBay. With the 5th movie heading to cinemas later this year and Peter Wingfield now 'starring' in Holby City, hopefully now the franchise will be renewed and continue without its guiding light.
Rest in Peace Bill.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Yours Truly, Angry Mob
Been a very unusual week here in Junkmale land.
Firstly there was the small matter of Local Elections to a Devolved Government in Northern Ireland that i want no part of.
Off i went to vote anyway only to discover, much to my embarrassment that my Driving Licence had expired. Oops!
Now that i have IRA terrorist Mitchell McLaughlin as my MLA though, things can surely only get better.
Received, about 5th hand, some rather upsetting news about a friend of mine. Who then proceeded to verbally lambast me for having the audacity to be.......concerned? Cleared up later though after being informed that i am so desperate for a relationship that i will spend years cultivating a friendship on the remote possibility of having one! The words Don't and Flatter Yourself sprung to mind.
On the subject of verbal lambasment, my favourite blog http://www.everythingulster.com/ has been all cock-a-hoop this week. What with the Elections and what not.
Normally, Beano is pretty spot on with his news and views. This time however, i disagreed.
Debate is one thing, lowering oneself to personal abuse in order to win an argument is other.
Catch yourself on...indeed!
Stranglers drummer Jet Black is very ill with some sort of heart complaint.
Highlight of the week is the new album from Kaiser Chiefs..Yours Truly, Angry Mob. Its really rather good.
And then there is those generous Chaps at Sony. Not only will Europe have to pay a hugely inflated price for the PS3, but also, according to a 'reliable source' a good percentage of PS2 software will not work on PAL consoles. Thanks guys.
Last, but by no means, least - Loughgall 0 Crusaders 5. Now theres something you don't see every day.
Firstly there was the small matter of Local Elections to a Devolved Government in Northern Ireland that i want no part of.
Off i went to vote anyway only to discover, much to my embarrassment that my Driving Licence had expired. Oops!
Now that i have IRA terrorist Mitchell McLaughlin as my MLA though, things can surely only get better.
Received, about 5th hand, some rather upsetting news about a friend of mine. Who then proceeded to verbally lambast me for having the audacity to be.......concerned? Cleared up later though after being informed that i am so desperate for a relationship that i will spend years cultivating a friendship on the remote possibility of having one! The words Don't and Flatter Yourself sprung to mind.
On the subject of verbal lambasment, my favourite blog http://www.everythingulster.com/ has been all cock-a-hoop this week. What with the Elections and what not.
Normally, Beano is pretty spot on with his news and views. This time however, i disagreed.
Debate is one thing, lowering oneself to personal abuse in order to win an argument is other.
Catch yourself on...indeed!
Stranglers drummer Jet Black is very ill with some sort of heart complaint.
Highlight of the week is the new album from Kaiser Chiefs..Yours Truly, Angry Mob. Its really rather good.
And then there is those generous Chaps at Sony. Not only will Europe have to pay a hugely inflated price for the PS3, but also, according to a 'reliable source' a good percentage of PS2 software will not work on PAL consoles. Thanks guys.
Last, but by no means, least - Loughgall 0 Crusaders 5. Now theres something you don't see every day.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Once in a blue.....?
I'm considering some cosmetic surgery this weekend.
The letters M-U-G tattooed across my forehead and a doormat attached to my back will do for a start.
The letters M-U-G tattooed across my forehead and a doormat attached to my back will do for a start.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Played by men with odd shaped balls?
Its nice to see that the annual farce of the Six Nations Rugby has begun again.
Firstly, i hate Rugby with a passion. Being a Grammar school boy i was forced to play this appalling excuse for a sport during my formative years. An experience i will never ever forget.
But, down to this particular competition.
'Ireland' is not an nation. It is an Island that houses 2 separate nations i.e. Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. For Rugby, for whatever reason, the countries are combined.
I 100% object to this and fail to understand how the sports governing authorities allow players from 2 different foreign countries to get away with it.
Can you imagine Scotland selecting Wayne Rooney for the next football World Cup qualifier simply because they live on the same Island?
If respect was shown to the Northern Irish players it might be different. All games are played in Dublin, the Republic of Ireland's flag is raised and the National Anthem of Northern Ireland is never played.
Parity of esteem it's not.
If they want to introduce a 7 nations championship i am all for it. To include England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland, France and Italy.
At least that way it would be Geographically and Historically correct.
Pictured are some 'Ireland' fans celebrating the inclusion of the Ulstermen on the team.
Friday, February 23, 2007
With friends like these......
Read a very interesting news article the other day.
Apparently, jails here in the UK are in such a state of overcrowding that the Government has decided to begin a process of ' repatriating' foreign criminals to their own countries.
Couldn't agree more. Don't like the idea of having to pay tax to accommodate foreigners. However, there is a major fly in the soup. Criminals from the Republic of Ireland don't count because of 'the unique and special friendship that exists between the UK and ROI'.
Is this the same unique and special friendship that remained neutral during 2 world wars, refueled German submarines, harbored IRA terrorists, never once extradited even one back to the UK and whose constitution contains an illegal claim to authority over a part of the UK?
Oh yes, it's unique all right.
Apparently, jails here in the UK are in such a state of overcrowding that the Government has decided to begin a process of ' repatriating' foreign criminals to their own countries.
Couldn't agree more. Don't like the idea of having to pay tax to accommodate foreigners. However, there is a major fly in the soup. Criminals from the Republic of Ireland don't count because of 'the unique and special friendship that exists between the UK and ROI'.
Is this the same unique and special friendship that remained neutral during 2 world wars, refueled German submarines, harbored IRA terrorists, never once extradited even one back to the UK and whose constitution contains an illegal claim to authority over a part of the UK?
Oh yes, it's unique all right.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A little ditty for Valentines Day
'When the postman don't come on Valentines Day
When Santa don't come on Christmas Day
When your umberella won't open on a rainy day
Don't ask me , i already know'
Martin Fry
Somewhere in Gold Lame land
When Santa don't come on Christmas Day
When your umberella won't open on a rainy day
Don't ask me , i already know'
Martin Fry
Somewhere in Gold Lame land
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Short quote that i really liked.
'Life is a solitary affair and happiness a transitory blip between sorrow and death'
Sylvie Simmons
MOJO Magazine Staff Writer
Sylvie Simmons
MOJO Magazine Staff Writer
Sunday, December 31, 2006
All is quiet...
According to my Sarah Michelle Gellar 2006 callender, tonight is New Years Eve.
Should have known really, judging by the ammount of well wishers and party invites i've been flooded with. Honestly, its just so difficult wondering who to disapoint.
I'll be making 2 Resolutions.
1. To stop being sarcastic.
2. To not be here next New Years Eve.
All will surely be quiet this New Years Day.
Should have known really, judging by the ammount of well wishers and party invites i've been flooded with. Honestly, its just so difficult wondering who to disapoint.
I'll be making 2 Resolutions.
1. To stop being sarcastic.
2. To not be here next New Years Eve.
All will surely be quiet this New Years Day.
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